1. We must be brutally honest about our current situation.
2. But never lose the undying belief that we will prevail in the end. 

Below are 8 practical, innovative ways you can engage to help keep your school on the before side of heartache. 

1. Be fully engaged during morning arrival. 
Statistically, this is the most dangerous time of the school day. 

Cancel all meetings. Hold all calls and emails until after 9:30 unless it’s an emergency. Walk the halls. Greet students. Step into classrooms. Check in with teachers. Be everywhere and fully engaged during this critical time of the day. 

If you get past 9:30am without a major event, the likelihood of something terrible happening drops to 25%. 

2. Flip the switch on your engagements.
Contact parents when their child does something good.

Keep it brief, positive, and sincere. 

“I’m just calling to let you know that Alice did a wonderful job today in class. She’s a real pleasure to teach. I just wanted to tell you that whatever you’re doing—keep doing it.” 

When families know you notice the good as well as the problems, trust increases. That trust leads to earlier, more honest information when something isn’t right. 

3. Own the last 15 minutes of the day.
Don’t let the day end with a fizzle. 

Be on your feet. Smile. Engage. It’s just 15 minutes!

Start the day off with high energy and end it the same way.
Think of bookends. 

I once watched no fewer than ten teachers stand outside waving goodbye to every bus. Technically, hands hanging out of bus windows is a no-no. Practically, it was a powerful display of mutual, loving engagement. 

A warm, emotional goodbye sends students home knowing they are valued and more likely to return the next day in a hopeful mood. 

4. Adopt one student you don’t know.
Each week, intentionally engage three students you do not know. 

Stop them. Introduce yourself. Tell them you’re on a mission to learn every name in the school and you don’t know theirs—yet. 

Ask about interests, hobbies, favorite sport teams, whether they like school, which teachers they like the most, if they feel safe—what feels natural. It’s not so much about gathering information as making connections through positive engagement. 

Afterward, write their names and interests down so you remember. Show up for them, and they’re more likely to speak up when something feels off. 

5. Interrupt isolation immediately.
When you see a student eating alone, withdrawing, or lingering by themselves, engagement should happen in that moment—not later. 

It doesn’t have to be long, but it should be intentional and kind. 

“Hey, I noticed you were by yourself today."
"I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing."
"Is everything okay today."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Would you like some company?”

A few minutes of genuine care shows the student they’re seen, valued, and not alone. And it opens the door for help if something deeper is going on. 

6. Engage after discipline, not just during it.
Every meaningful consequence should be followed
by a brief check-in within 24–48 hours: 

“How are you doing?”
“How can I help you to be successful going forward?” 

This resets the relationship and shows the student that they are still supported rather than just labeled. 

7. Create neutral, non-disciplinary engagements with students of concern.
These check-ins should happen whether things are going well or not so students don’t think the only time you care is when something bad is happening. 

Keep them brief. Two to five minutes is enough. 

“Just checking in. How are things going today?”
“Anything making school harder right now?”
“I’ve heard nothing but good things. Keep it up!”
“Do you feel like you have what you need to get through the day?” 

Neutral check-ins lower defenses and encourage students to speak up before frustration or anger turns into action. 

8. End every day with a staff safety scan.
Send one simple email question: 

“Did anyone see, hear, or feel something today that didn’t sit right or made you afraid?” 

This creates a low-threshold reporting system. It normalizes communication, builds muscle memory, and raises trust. 

When staff see, hear, or feel something concerning, they’ll think of you—and they’ll speak up. This saves lives. 

For more proven, people-first ways to keep your school on the before the heartache side, explore Safe & Loved Schools.