From the Training:
Certified Safe & Loved Practitioner

We are very quick to blame people for faults, failures, and problems.
But very slow to “blame” people for strengths, successes, and good outcomes.

We see a student with poor manners and blame the parents.
But we rarely “blame” the parents when we see a student with great manners. 

Neither happens by accident. 

Many people work very hard to make a positive difference and almost no one notices. Not because others are cruel or selfish, but because life moves fast. 

Schools move fast. We rush from problem to problem until eventually the only thing receiving attention is what is broken. 

Over time, that changes a culture. 

Human beings need to know their efforts matter. That is especially important in school safety because preventing violence is predicated upon the idea that people who care for each other will protect each other. 

But that does not happen well in environments where people don’t feel seen, valued, and appreciated. 

Here’s the first challenge in this article. 

Find the person who is really trying, giving it their all, making a difference, but not being reminded enough of it. 

Go tell them. Be specific. 

“I see how hard you’re working and I wanted to say thank you.”
“I noticed what you did with that student. It was brilliant.”
“You make this place better. You make us better.” 

Whatever fits the person and the relationship. Just make sure they hear it. 

One of the easiest mistakes we make with good people is assuming they already know they’re appreciated. They don’t always know. Sometimes the people giving the most are quietly wondering if anybody notices. 

Notice today! 

For you personally, if your mind is constantly searching for the negative, constantly highlighting division, constantly emphasizing failure and frustration, then you are slowly cultivating a negative culture inside yourself and some things don’t go well together. 

Peanut butter and spaghetti.
Mashed potatoes and jelly.
Negative thinking and positive living. 

Whatever you consistently focus on eventually becomes your priority. 

Don’t just focus on the negative. 

Here’s the second challenge in this article. 

Take a hard look at how you interact with people, the internet, and coworkers. 

For one day, keep track of your thoughts, your corrections, your frustrations, and your praise. Tally it up honestly. 

Where was your focus? More positive or more negative? 

For your sake and those you love and lead, work hard to be positive. Demand it from yourself as much as you demand efficiency from others. 

School safety requires us to notice people, care about people, and encourage people. If your mind is constantly looking for what is wrong while ignoring the positive, you’ll have a hard time creating a school that is safe and loved. 

I’ve done lots of school vulnerability assessments. 

I’ve never met a negative person who was great at school safety or experienced a negative culture that didn’t have lots of vulnerabilities to violence. 

Absolutely address what is wrong, correct what needs to be corrected, and hold people accountable. But spend at least as much time looking for what is right. 

And when you find it, blame somebody.